Danielle Leerhoff
Composition 2
Professor: Ann Lebo
In-Vitro Fertilization: How many children are too much?
Wahhh! Wahhh! There are many joys of having a baby. Some couples may even have two babies or possibly three babies. What about having eight babies at once? Eight babies being born could be caused from the use of in vitro fertilization. In vitro fertilization is another way how some people have children. Paul Harris wrote an article, “A bidding war and a row of over ethics: how the octuplets story turned sour” in February 2009, talking about how one woman had in vitro and had eight babies. The author’s view of this article show that he is against what this woman has done. He shows how as a nation we change our emotions and our views when we find out information about topics in the news. Harris’ article credibility, logic, and emotions will tell you how many people can change their views on what this woman has done.
In the article, “A bidding war and a row of over ethics: how the octuplets story turned sour,” Paul Harris starts talking about how eight babies being born is a miraculous event. He mentions that in this time of economic downfall, a joyous event of eight babies was born alive to one woman. Soon after the news came out about the babies, people wanted to know about the mother. The public soon found out that the mother, 33 year old Nadya Suleman, was single, unemployed, and had six other children at home. Nadya had in vitro done to get pregnant. There is no information on who has fathered all the other children or the octuplets. Nadya lives with her parents and soon after arriving home with the octuplets, they hide from the public and media. Only few things are said and most of it is how the parents feel about their daughter’s decision. The Suleman family has had financial problems for a long time so many people are wondering how this was possible. When Nadya first appeared, to the medical staff of the hospital she gave birth at, she was just three months pregnant. Staff was shocked to find out that the clinic that implanted the embryos in Nadya Suleman went over the guideline limits. Someone that young should not have that many embryos implanted because the risk of all of them holding is higher. Many medical experts are upset about this and have many unanswered questions.
Harris’ has some good creditable sources for his articles but some bad creditable sources. The good source in this article is represented by the American Press, which is well known. The American Press has had interviews with Nadya’s mother about her daughter and her thoughts on the issue of the octuplets. Other press covering the story of Nadya and her family is just the regular media and they only show what they want us to know. There are many tabloids and video media people out to show everyone information about the octuplets, what people need to be aware of what is what to believe. The credibility of the regular media is questionable in this article, because some of it can be edited to have us hear what they want us to.
At first the only logical reason I understood from this article of why Nadya had octuplets is that she loves children. Nadya had in vitro done after she had six children already at home. She wasn’t infertile but still chose to do in vitro fertilization. Who ever implanted the embryos implanted to many into Nadya. She knew what she was doing and the risks. Some of the risks she took when having that many embryos implanted could have caused serious injury or even death. Later in the article it reveals how the family had financial problems. Harris focuses on what the parents say to show how he is against what she did to these children and to the nation having to help her. He mentions the parent’s reaction to what she did, it makes me feel bad for her the way they say things. I think some one should have as many children as they want as long as they are happy and can afford them. I am against Nadya getting pregnant and not having a job to support her family. If there are people out there that want many children and can afford them, they should have as many as they want.
The emotions shown in this article are a variation from happiness to outrage. Harris starts the article talking about a miracle, a happy occasion that the octuplets were born but as the article continues it slowly turns to upset and outrage. He talks about the economy and how it has affected us as a nation. The fact that a mother had eight babies alive at birth was great. When the nation found out that the mother, Nadya, had six children at home and still had in vitro fertilization to have more children shocked the nation. To top it all off, Nadya had no job to support the children or the support of her parents. Nadya’s parents were not actually thrilled when the octuplets came into this world. Nadya’s family hid behind closed doors and would not talk to the press. The family is in financial problems just like everyone else, and the fact that now she has fourteen children, upsets Harris. Harris states at the very end of his article just what he believes. He believes that these octuplets will make our economy a bit harder for us.
The credibility, logic, and emotions of this article have shown us how we can change our views on what Nadya has done. Nadya having octuplets excited our nation; all were born alive at birth. With the economy the way it is these days makes have eight babies a miracle. We are all happy about this until we find out that she had six other children at home. Nadya has no means of financial support from herself or her children. Her family is bankrupt and not happy about the decision she has made. After the octuplets were born there were many questions. The doctor that implanted her knew that with being so young the more likely that all the embryos would take. It makes us wonder why Nadya and the doctor still went ahead with implantation. Health risks were high for her especially at her age, death or serious injury. Nadya was not infertile when she had in vitro, so now a mother of fourteen has to decide how to support that huge family. Harris’ wording in his article plays with our emotions, by how he mentions her finances and our nation’s finances. Creditable of Harris sources are ok but some of it needs to be checked further. In vitro fertilization is a great idea if you use it how it is to be used. Having babies are a miracle; enjoy the wahhhs and dirty diapers, just having more than four babies at once is hard work.
Works Cited
Harris, Paul. “A bidding war and a row of over ethics: how the octuplets story turned sour”.
1 February 2009.
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1. Title warns people what it is about
ReplyDelete2. Crying baby everyone responds to that
3. Yes
4. Thesis Statements are my weak area
5. Restates author and title
6. no quotations used
7. Dsome use of writer and authors views needs work
8. no change .
9. List the points the writer includes in the summary. how in vitro can cause many embryos to survive and multiply
10. ok
11. thesis are my downfall
12. orgainzed by ethos pathos and logos
13. no direct quotations used
14. okie dokie
15. yeah
16. maybe relook at how much is too much
Conclusion
17. thesis statement are weak area
18. yeah
19. yeah
20. author's bias is against having soo many children
21. towards middle
22. ok where it is
23. yes
24. yes
25. transitions are okay
Early draft have to work on it more... i get distracted by 5, 4, 3, and 2 year old too many times.
Single Source/Strong Response Peer Evaluations
ReplyDelete1. I don't personally like the title - maybe if you just left it at: In-Vitro Fertilization: Too Much? Or something to that effect.
Introduction
2. You should leave out the baby crying all together. The second sentence grabs me more than this does.
3. Follows the convention, but many of the sentences are constructed poorly. You made it very wordy instead of compounding some of the sentences.
4. Not clear or concise.
Summary
5. Yes
6. Not clearly written
7. No
8.
9. Implanting the high amount of embryos was not only dangerous, but selfish. Nadya had children to think about at home and was currently unemployed. It leaves me wondering who's to blame.
10. I can tell that you know what you're trying to say - you just haven't got the structure quite figured out yet.
Response
11. Yes
12. logos, ethos, and pathos
13. None
14. You could do more research and find quotations from Nadya, maybe?
15.
16. Like I said before, you're on the right track. You just need to cut out all of the stuff you don't really need. It would make for a more effective and informative summary.
Conclusion
17. I can't really tell where it is.
18. You didn't make a clear separation of the response and conclusion.
19. I like your words of wisdom, but it doesn't go well with the rest of your essay.
Other Issues
20. For In-Vitro, Against abusing the system
21. Summary
22. It's an O.K. place for it.
23. Yes
24. Yes
25. No. Except for your personal pronouns (which I don't think belong in this essay) it's hard to tell where you are going.
Overall
I learned that you've taken the stance of the original writer. You welcome children, but not into a situation that would warrant non-stop media attention from around the world. You agree that it was wrong to abuse the system.
How would you rate this draft? Based on the following criteria, is it an Early Draft, Middle Draft, or Late Draft?
An early draft means that your draft seems to be an early one--one that could benefit from some rethinking and re-seeing . The draft may not fully explore the ideas it has introduced or may lack a clear focus on its subject or a clear sense of purpose. Perhaps it could benefit from a stronger sense of organization.